Q: Why should I forgive if the other person is wrong?
SRI BHAGAVAN :
" If you cannot forgive a person, you will be ruining yourself. Forgive the other person not for their sake, but for your own good.
Most of your problems in the external world arise because of your hurts. A hurt inside can cause an external problem. If you don't forgive, you carry the other person inside, and the other person is controlling your life, though he is physically far away from you....
SRI BHAGAVAN :
" If you cannot forgive a person, you will be ruining yourself. Forgive the other person not for their sake, but for your own good.
Most of your problems in the external world arise because of your hurts. A hurt inside can cause an external problem. If you don't forgive, you carry the other person inside, and the other person is controlling your life, though he is physically far away from you....
When you are not able to forget the situation or the person, whatever you might be trying to do, the past keeps haunting you. As a result, you lose peace of mind again and again. Consequently, you will not be able to carry on efficiently. Also, when you have an intense [emotional] charge, strangely, you will meet the same kind of people wherever you go, until and unless the charge is dissolved. For example, you hate people who are angry and critical because you have a charge. In your life, you will meet people who are short-tempered and critical. Until you have completed your learning, life keeps throwing similar situations or people in your way.
Once you have experienced the pain or hurt in its totality, the pain disappears and forgiveness happens. How do you do that? You can make it happen not by escaping pain, justifying hurt, being indifferent to suffering, and so forth, but by experiencing the pain just as it is. To experience the pain, you must relate to it in all its rawness and nakedness. It is there, and that's it. You [make] absolutely no excuses or justification for its presence in your life. It is only with such a perspective that you can experience the pain.
In this process, forgiveness will happen when you experience the pain fully. Forgiveness is an internal process. Do not confuse it with the practical actions you might have to take in the external world. You must remember that any action coming out of hurt or judgment can only lead to more miserable situations.
You must experience the hurt and anger within you. As you experience what is within you, you feel peace with yourself and spontaneously respond to an external situation without any inner grudge or judgment. Thus, while suffering a situation internally, you can be very functional in the external world, as well.
It is not enough to know this intellectually. You must implement this teaching in your real life. Initially, it might be a little difficult. However, once you get the hang of it, you will enjoy doing the same forever. As the external world is only a reflection of the internal world, intense feelings like hurt or hatred result in financial problems, health problems, and failures in life.
Because you can incur grave losses with a lack of forgiveness, you understand the necessity of forgiveness. Wherever there’s forgiveness, miracles are happening naturally, and the doors of grace always open.
Once you have experienced the pain or hurt in its totality, the pain disappears and forgiveness happens. How do you do that? You can make it happen not by escaping pain, justifying hurt, being indifferent to suffering, and so forth, but by experiencing the pain just as it is. To experience the pain, you must relate to it in all its rawness and nakedness. It is there, and that's it. You [make] absolutely no excuses or justification for its presence in your life. It is only with such a perspective that you can experience the pain.
In this process, forgiveness will happen when you experience the pain fully. Forgiveness is an internal process. Do not confuse it with the practical actions you might have to take in the external world. You must remember that any action coming out of hurt or judgment can only lead to more miserable situations.
You must experience the hurt and anger within you. As you experience what is within you, you feel peace with yourself and spontaneously respond to an external situation without any inner grudge or judgment. Thus, while suffering a situation internally, you can be very functional in the external world, as well.
It is not enough to know this intellectually. You must implement this teaching in your real life. Initially, it might be a little difficult. However, once you get the hang of it, you will enjoy doing the same forever. As the external world is only a reflection of the internal world, intense feelings like hurt or hatred result in financial problems, health problems, and failures in life.
Because you can incur grave losses with a lack of forgiveness, you understand the necessity of forgiveness. Wherever there’s forgiveness, miracles are happening naturally, and the doors of grace always open.
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